Sanju and Ruaridh first met on the famous ‘white coat pub crawl’ in their first week of Edinburgh University where they were both studying to be doctors. There were about 140 trainee medics, all wearing their white coats, and all touring the pubs of Edinburgh en masse. Apparently the medical school lecturers told the students at the time that a proportion of them would meet their future partners within that group. And, well, seven years later, we were all honoured and delighted to be celebrating Sanju and Ruaridh’s marriage in a gorgeously heartfelt and humorous ceremony at Carlowrie Castle near Edinburgh.

The weeks preceding Ruaridh and Sanju’s wedding were ones of wild storms and heavy rainfall. For a while, it was touch and go whether Sanju’s family, many of whom were travelling from India, would be able to make the journey. A blessing then, that on the day itself the skies cleared and the sun shone, and despite the road to the castle being flooded in parts, every one of their friends and family were able to celebrate with them.

As Agnostic Scotland Marriage Celebrants, our role is to create and hold a shared space for a couple and their family and friends. An Agnostic ceremony is open-minded, inclusive and respectful of the shared and varied beliefs of everyone gathered. For Sanju and Ruaridh, this was especially important to them, given Ruaridh’s Scottish heritage and Sanju’s Indian heritage. Their wish was to make their life promises to each other in a shared ceremony that reflected and respected the values, traditions, and culture handed down by their previous generations. Like their marriage, Ruaridh and Sanju’s ceremony was a beautiful blend of two individuals, two cultures and two communities.

The ceremony began with Sanju’s parents, Cynthia and Vijay, accompanying her down the wedding aisle in a gesture of love and support.

After welcoming everyone into the gathering, we paused for a peaceful moment to reflect on the dear, absent loved ones who Sanju and Ruaridh were choosing to hold in their thoughts and hearts. Then Sanju’s brother, Sanjay, and Ruaridh’s brother, Aidan, lifted everyone’s spirits with an excellent rendition of one of Sanju and Ruaridh’s favourite comics.

Calvin: What’s it like to fall in love?

Hobbes: Well… say the object of your affection walks by…

Calvin: Yeah?

Hobbes: First, your heart falls into your stomach and splashes your innards. All the moisture makes you sweat profusely. This condensation shorts the circuits to your brain and you get all woozy. When your brain burns out altogether, your mouth disengages and you babble like a cretin until she leaves.

Calvin: THAT’S LOVE?!?

Hobbes: Medically speaking.

Calvin: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!

An extract from Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson

I shared the story of how Ruaridh and Sanju found each other: how Sanju thought of Ruaridh as a nice boy who was both very tall and very Scottish with his bright red hair and distinctive accent; and how Ruaridh thought of Sanju as the very pretty girl who he was far too nervous to talk to. We heard how Ruaridh totally stole the show for Sanju in the fourth year medics comedy show and how, a few months later, when Sanju was sitting in the computer lab pretending to work – when actually she was watching Buffy on her iPad and flicking through the online dating app, Tinder – she realised that she had been matched with Ruaridh. Of course, she swiped right … 

We reflected on times Sanju and Ruaridh had shared, adventures they had enjoyed and all that they had supported each other through. With their permission, I revealed some secret thoughts that Ruaridh and Sanju had written for each other – the sweet, poignant and hilarious – about their love and connection.

We paused for a moment of peaceful reflection during which time, Sanju and Ruaridh prepared for their vows and their friends and family were invited to say a silent prayer or send a well-wishing thought or blessing to them both.

Ruaridh and Sanju read their vows from scrolls, speaking personal words to each other, reflecting on the many ways that they continue to enrich each other’s lives and their hopes and dreams for the future. They gifted each other a ring with the words “You’ll do!” inscribed on the inside of each band (a longstanding joke between the two of them).

I have the joy of being with someone who makes every day special, makes the boring things fun and who picks me up when I am not at my best. Every day I am thankful for your kindness, your love and, yes, your patience. I feel so fortunate to know that I am with someone who I can rely on to stand by me in any situation and who pushes me to be the best I can be.

I love you so much and if you give me the chance I will spend the rest of my life making you feel as special as you make me feel. 

Ruaridh and Sanju

I vow to be faithful and show up for you every day. I vow to appreciate you, our relationship, and be grateful for the wonderful memories we have made and those that we have to come. I promise to stand by you when times are difficult and life throws us challenges. I promise to try and make you laugh, because moments of happiness and joy can be found even in the darkest of days. Whether that is on purpose or because of my constant clumsiness I can’t say.

Finally… I promise to never take you for granted. 

Sanju and Ruaridh

In honour of the Indian tradition, Sanju and Ruaridh gifted each other a garland as a symbol of their acceptance of each other in life and love.

They sealed their Marriage Vows with a Celtic Handfasting with two scarves; one representing Ruaridh and his family, and one symbolising Sanju and her family.

While we signed the Marriage Schedule – that little piece of paper that says ‘I love you’- Ruaridh’s father, Andrew, said a few words for the newlyweds then played wonderful music with Aisling and Caitlin, Ruaridh’s cousins.

We closed the ceremony with a reading about love and a Quaich ritual: Ruaridh and Sanju both declaring the honesty and trust in their relationship by sharing a sip of whisky from their wedding Quaich.

It was an absolute joy to lead Ruaridh and Sanju’s ceremony. Their ceremony captures everything I value about being an Agnostic Scotland celebrant; creating a ceremony that reflects the personalities, values, shared beliefs and customs of the people involved; bringing people together in a way that feels right and meaningful for everyone.

I was so happy that, after the ceremony, Sanju and Ruaridh’s parents each gave me a tearful hug and expressed their happiness at having been part of such a warm, inclusive ceremony. I couldn’t agree more … it was an absolute joy to be a part of Ruaridh and Sanju’s beautiful, effervescent day and I’m over the moon for them both.

Thank you so much, Ruaridh and Sanju, for sharing these sweet details with us all. We wish you a thousand blessings in your lives together.

Thank you to fabulous photographer and all-round lovely person, Derek Christie, for sharing these stunning photos.